Last week saw the launch by the Positive Parenting Alliance, of an innovative initiative aimed at encouraging businesses to introduce more family-friendly policies for employees/workers going through separation and divorce.  The PPA is supported by the President of the Family Division and is formed of a group of organisations including Relate, Only Mums and Dads, National Children’s Day UK, Black Mums Upfront, Action for Happiness and Two Wishes.  

The PPA surveyed more than 200 employees and four in 10 felt that they had to take time off work because of their separation; three-quarters felt that they had become less efficient; and 95% said separation had affected their mental health.  Whilst the impact of separation and divorce on an individual might seem obvious, there are various nuances, both emotional and practical, that individually or collectively can cause significant difficulties such as:

•    the loss of, or reduction to, a support network from the ex-partner and their family;

•    the emotional devastation of separation, particularly if not wanted, which can lead to decreased mood, depression, anger, loss of meaning and purpose, loneliness, anxiety and ill health;

•    the need for practical and emotional support for the employee/worker and their children who are struggling with separation and which may be reflected in emotional or behavioural changes;

•    the loss of income in the household, which causes financial strain;

•    a consequential,  need to change roles, and decrease or increase hours which impacts childcare arrangements and finances;

•    the need for more flexible hours to plug any gaps in new childcare arrangements;

•    the need to look for, find and move to a new home; and

•    the need for advice from, and therefore time off for appointments with, mediators, lawyers and barristers, accountants, financial advisors, estate agents, counsellors, therapists, social workers, schools, mortgage lenders, court hearings – the list goes on.

The Positive Parenting Alliance is urging employers to view divorce as the major life event that it is and consider offering flexibility for those going through it.  Bereavement leave is now offered as standard for the loss of a loved one; maternity and paternity leave is available as standard for new parents (including adoptive parents).  Yet, divorce, until now, has been a poor relation with employees and workers simply left to get on with it, despite the life-changing consequences.  The PPA now encourages HR policies to allow parents to work flexibly whilst they reorganise and settle childcare arrangements and signpost staff to supportive mental health services.

Existing support for employees

In an ideal world, our personal lives and working lives would exist in isolation from the other.  We would shed our emotional baggage as soon as we step over the office threshold and forget our work woes once we clock off. Yet divorce, along with death and moving house, is listed as one of the top three most stressful events in a person’s life. The emotional, financial and practical impact can be devastating.  However hard one might try, it will not always be realistic, or possible, to expect staff to maintain the distinction between the personal and professional - particularly when undergoing such a seismic shift in their circumstances.  In the workplace, this impact might affect employees’ working relationships, their performance and their decision-making abilities, as well as cause increased absenteeism.

The question that the PPA initiative raises, I suppose, is whether or not employers should, in fact, be asked to do more.  After all, employers are business owners, not counsellors.  They pay employees a wage to do a job and, if that job is not being done, they are theoretically within their rights to take steps to manage the employee in accordance with the company’s procedures and the law.  

Yet this view is perhaps a little short-sighted.  If employees are not supported, they may feel they have no option but to leave.  Recruiting replacements is expensive, time-consuming and difficult.  If a good employee can be retained, surely this would be the most cost effective and pragmatic solution all round?

No doubt many would agree with this.  Many also would argue that employees in the UK are already well served by a comprehensive set of family-friendly laws that allow for a degree of flexibility when life circumstances change.

This is true.  Employees can already take unpaid time off at short (or no) notice to deal with an emergency affecting a dependant (e.g. child, spouse, parent etc).  This right can be utilised by employees if they need to take time off to deal with unforeseen childcare, or other family, issues.  Likewise, all parents (or those with parental responsibility for a child) are allowed 18 weeks’ unpaid parental leave per child under the age of 18 for the purpose of caring for that child,  four weeks of which can be taken in any one-year.   This can enable a divorcing/separating employee who may now be unable to share childcare during the summer holidays with their ex, to take planned time off.

Furthermore, employees who need to change their working patterns as a result of separation could also make a statutory request to their employer for flexible working. Whilst currently only employees with 26 weeks’ continuous service are eligible to apply for flexible working, the government will soon be making this a day one right.  It will also allow employees to make two applications in any 12-month period (rather than the one per year currently permitted).

Since the pandemic, more employers offer working from home or hybrid-working arrangements.  By default, this additional flexibility in their working environment may alleviate some of the pressures separating or divorcing employees may have otherwise experienced.

It is also fair to say that many employers already offer access to counselling and other well-being services.

Should employers do more?

Given the rights (and forthcoming rights) that are already in place, therefore, is it necessary to do more? After all, individuals’ capacity to cope with stress and major changes in their lives differs from person to person.  If allowances are made for divorcing or separating couples and parents, where will it end?  Will employers be expected to arrange bespoke support packages, depending on individual circumstances?    This is perhaps unnecessary catastrophizing for what is, in reality, simply a request for employers to take a compassionate and supportive approach, but it is a valid observation.

Nevertheless, it is certainly arguable that employers could – and should - do more.  Our research for this piece identified one commentator who speculated that the pressures employees experience in their working lives – unrealistic performance targets, long working hours etc.- can contribute significantly to the breakdown of personal relationships.  If employers are part of the problem, therefore, is it only fair that they should also be part of the solution? If so, what should that solution look like?

The first step would be for employers to encourage employees to tell them if they are going through a major life event, such as divorce or separation so that together they can discuss what additional temporary or permanent support they might need, and make arrangements for planned absences so that the employee can attend necessary appointments and the employer can ensure it has an appropriate cover...

Flexible working, time off for dependants and parental leave policies could also be updated to include divorce/separation in a list of circumstances in which it might be necessary for employees to exercise these rights.

Employers might also want to re-visit these policies to enhance the statutory protection offered to employees – for instance by providing paid leave (or some paid leave) for what might otherwise be unpaid leave, or varying parental leave policies to allow leave to be taken in blocks of less than a week.

Employers should be aware also that divorce/separation may trigger depression and anxiety and/or a recurrence of a pre-existing mental health episode.  Depending on the circumstances, the employee may have protection from disability discrimination.  In such circumstances, employers will have an additional obligation to make reasonable adjustments to help the employee remain at work.  Providing additional support and resources could be one way of discharging that duty.

There are then also practical issues that the employee may need help with.  For example, making changes to benefits (such as taking a spouse off their private healthcare), updating the employee’s surname on internal systems and/or liaising with third parties (e.g. payroll providers) to ensure their records are also updated.  Emergency contact information and other personal details may also need to be amended.

Conclusion

The Positive Parenting Alliance offers another step along the road of family-friendly policies focused on employee well-being and, as such, its aspirations may be difficult to criticise.  With big businesses such as Asda, Tesco, Metro Bank, PwC and Unilever already pledging their support to the initiative, the UK industry could start to see a cultural shift with employers playing a critical role in how smoothly an employee or worker moves into a new life.  In a challenging recruitment market, expectations of employers for what they can offer are ever-expanding and an employer who is forward-thinking, empathetic and supportive might just have the edge over a rival.  In those circumstances, both employer and employee benefit.