Within any relationship, the needs of children are going to be a priority for each parent.
When a relationship breaks down, it can sometimes be difficult to meet your child’s practical and emotional needs when you are feeling so hurt yourself.
This is entirely normal. However, the decisions you make now and the way you behave will have a fundamental impact on how your child copes with the end of your relationship, and the start of any new relationship. A huge amount of care has to go into managing your child’s needs alongside your own.
Prettys advises on a wide range of child-related matters. Our family lawyers offer a legal resolution centred around the wellbeing of you and your children. We offer advice relating to:
Avoiding court
We take a child-focused approach in dealing with separation, building a support team around you and your child to help process difficult emotions, manage separation and build a new life. Our innovative Talking Works service is built around dialogue, bringing couples together to talk through conflict and find points of compromise and resolution with the aim of working out what is best for the two of you and your child. Our experienced solicitors have resolved some of the most difficult cases round table, when even the parents thought this impossible.
Disputes over children
It is not always possible to work constructively with the other parent, and there are situations in which court cannot be avoided. If you do find yourself facing a court application, our family lawyers are very experienced in managing complex child litigation concerning emotional, physical and sexual abuse, parental alienation and changes of jurisdiction. If at any point we see a possibility of compromise, we will seek to pause the court proceedings and encourage a constructive dialogue to reach a less contentious resolution.
Grandparents
A child’s relationship with a grandparent can often be the first family relationship to suffer when parents separate. However, following a separation, grandparents can provide a safe and neutral environment in which a child can relax and get away from any issues that are worrying them. We have particular expertise in acting for grandparents whether round table or in litigation.
Co-parents should ideally agree on child maintenance or payment of school fees in a way that is practical and affordable. Our Talking Works service can help initiate round table discussions concerning the appropriate amounts.
Our family team are highly-regarded for their work involving children
Our firm prides itself on taking a client-focused approach to each case, and nowhere is this approach more important than in cases involving children. Family law matters can often be complex due to the emotions involved, so we take the time to fully understand your specific situation before advising on a course of action that’s right for you and your family.
Our family team are highly-regarded for their work involving children. We know that continuing dialogue, courtesy and respectfulness between you and your co-parent will go a long way. It is important that your child knows that you and your co-parent will look after them and love them no less.
Experience has shown us that the more support you can provide, the less your child has to worry about and they can adapt to separated parents and households with certainty and confidence. For this reason, we go above and beyond to ensure we equip you with the expert advice and resources necessary to make this possible.
This is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. It is essential, if at all possible, that both parents are present for the conversation and agree in advance what to say. You should provide your child with small bite-sized facts that they can absorb and digest, with plenty of reassurance that you love them very much. Keep explanations simple and avoid blame. Use general statements and be prepared for questions. If you do not yet have all the answers, do not provide false hope. Instead, explain that some details are still being worked out, they are not to worry, and will be the first to know when issues are resolved. Be clear that your separation is not your child’s fault, and nor is it their job to try and make things better.
Check in regularly with your child and pay attention not just to their words, but to their actions and behaviour. These can often give a hint as to what they are truly feeling. Let your child know it is ok to be upset, hurt, angry and sad. Signpost to appropriate adults, such as family, friends or a favourite teacher, who they can speak to in confidence. Let the school know what is happening at home and ask them to keep an eye on your child. Try to keep life predictable and consistent for your child. If you are struggling, try your hardest to deal with this without involving your child.
You and your ex-partner will be co-parents for years to come and so an arrangement reached by consent to reduce tension and conflict has to be in the best interests of your child. Ask us about our Talking Works service, which takes a creative and constructive approach to resolving problems. If talking matters through with a professional does not work, either parent can make an application to the court for a child arrangements Order.
This is an Order that can be of four different types:
‘Lives with’ Order – Determines with whom the child lives, or how the child’s time is shared between households
‘Spends time with’ Order – How frequently the child sees the parent with whom they do not live
‘A specific issue’ Order – Deals with a narrow issue such as schooling or medical treatment
’Prohibited steps’ Order – Prevents a parent taking an action, such as travelling abroad or pursuing a schooling or medical issue that is not agreed
By applying to the court clarifying which type of Order you want. Parents, step-parents and grandparents (as well as wider family if certain criteria is met) can apply for child arrangement Orders.
The judge will want to understand each parent’s position, but the decision will be based on what is considered to be in the child’s best interests. Factors relevant to the child’s welfare include age, health, educational ability and so on. The court’s starting point is to promote each parent’s role in the child’s life, having regard to the practicalities of separated parenting. The court Order may set out a schedule for the parents to share time with the child to include birthdays, special occasions and holiday periods so that there is clarity for each parent.
CAFCASS is a public body accountable to the Ministry of Justice that acts as the ‘eyes and ears’ of the court. A CAFCASS officer can be appointed by the court to talk to each parent and the child to determine each person’s views and provide a report. Young children tend not to be interviewed by CAFCASS, but children over the age of 5 or 6 may be interviewed. CAFCASS tend not to become involved where parents disagree over matters limited to simple logistics, like who should collect and deliver the child.
The court has a “no Order” principle whereby they will not make unnecessary Orders in children matters. You will need to have a good reason to achieve an Order. If you can agree between you, the court may prefer to leave matters fluid without an Order. Talk to us if you are unsure, as other more informal documents, such as a Parenting Plan, may still be useful.
If your partner is the biological or adoptive parent, he or she should pay child maintenance, subject to how much income he or she has and dependent on the pattern of shared care.
Yes. If you can both agree a figure that works for the two of you there is no need to involve anyone else. It is a sensible idea to record the payments, for example, through paying by standing order. That way, there will be a clear record of what and when payments have been made in case there should be a dispute in the future.
The government’s child maintenance online calculator is a helpful, free resource that acts as a guide for parents who wish to check what amount is payable. You will need to know the paying parent’s gross salary