Autumn heralds the start of a new academic year, which can be particularly daunting for little ones facing ‘big school’ for the first time. Families are required to manoeuvre the logistics of school hours, breakfast club, after school club and any extra-curricular activities on offer. Evenings are also taken up with reading and homework. These are wonderfully busy times but can be challenging for any family to adapt to and keep up with.
It can prove even harder where parents are separated or are separating. They may have faced or be facing other big changes in their family life, such as separate homes, different financial arrangements, or the introduction of new partners and step-children. The parents may now live in different areas, meaning that the location of a school is convenient for one parent but less so for the other. It is not difficult to see how this, plus the introduction of a new school or academic year, may feel like a further hurdle for a family already going through a period of transition. It is therefore perhaps unsurprising that separated parents who are adapting to new circumstances will sometimes find themselves disagreeing over the arrangements relating to their children. They might be in dispute about anything from when the children will spend time with each parent, either in term time or during holiday, to day-to-day specifics such as who is responsible for overseeing the homework or washing the PE kit.
This is a situation where family mediation can really help. Unlike the traditional court process, where parents are pitted against one another and the outcome is a judge-imposed order which commonly satisfies neither parent, mediation gives an opportunity for the parents to properly communicate about the issues they have. The mediator has the skills to help the parents really listen to one another and also understand what is important to each of them and the children. Mediation is flexible, meaning any issues that are important to the family, rather than the main issues that a judge will focus on, can be discussed and resolved. Ultimately mediation provides a safe forum for parents who have separated to redefine their relationship so that they can focus on and make decisions about what is best for their children in the future. If both parents want, the mediator can record whatever arrangements they eventually come to in a document called a ‘Parenting Plan’. This helps parents keep a record and is something to refer back to in the future.
Each solicitor in the Family Team at Prettys is dual-qualified as a mediator. For further information on how mediation might help you or someone you know, please contact Victoria Mayhew on 01473 298350 or vmayhew@prettys.co.uk.
