A solicitor-mediator at Prettys has spoken of the enormous benefit of the process – saying it “makes sure everybody is heard”.

Victoria Mayhew, a solicitor and accredited mediator at Prettys in Ipswich, said the process was becoming increasingly popular, allowing couples to navigate their separation away from the combative arena of the courtroom.  Such is the growing demand that each solicitor in the Family Team at Prettys is dual qualified as a mediator.

“The huge benefit of mediation is in its flexibility” she said.

“It keeps lines of communication open which can in turn allow parents, for example, to both attend their child’s graduation or wedding in the future.

“The court process requires people to try and persuade a judge to their own views.

“Mediation makes sure everybody is heard.”

Family Mediation Week, which runs from January 18 to January 22, looks to raise awareness of the process and to encourage separating couples to sit down together in person or online and find solutions to the issues that can arise through a separation or divorce. 

Victoria, who has worked as a mediator for nearly ten years, said more people are aware of the process than ever before, but that there are still some enduring myths that need to be dispelled.

“One main message is that mediation is not reconciliation or relationship counselling,” she said.

“The process is not there to repair the relationship, it is to help people to transition to life post-separation and/or be co-parents for the future, for example.

“There are still difficult moments and high tension but in the majority of cases there’s an outcome both sides feel invested in and a common way forward.

“The chances of doing that after a court battle are rare.

“One key question we ask is ‘in what way would you like/want your children to look back on this process in the future’”.

Victoria said the most common area of difficulty in a couple separating is misunderstandings and miscommunication.

She said: “Often one of the couple is further ahead in the separation process than the other, they are rarely at the same stage.

“One person may have been thinking about it for a long time while the other may be struggling with the fact the relationship is over.

“Mediation is bespoke to each case and can go as fast or slow as necessary.”

Victoria added the disruption caused by the pandemic had created a backlog in the courts, often taking many months for a case to even get started. Mediation avoids that delay.

For more about Prettys mediation services visit www.prettys.co.uk/for-individuals/family-law/family-mediation-services